So I am one of those lucky (?) people, who still to this day, ask myself what I want to do when I grow up. I know that technically I have grown up, but that’s only in body. Not in the mind. Ever since I can remember I’ve been asking myself what I would like to do with my life. At first I wanted to be a famous singer. I remember singing my heart out to Peter Paul and Mary tunes in my room and knowing I was going to be the next big thing. Then I realized I couldn’t sing, so I figured I would just turn out famous somehow. Later, when I realized that all I was was smart, I figured I’d be some big wig corporate CEO. That didn’t last long either. So when I was applying for college I knew none of that was going to happen; all I was really good at was reading and studying. And since everyone expected me to major in English, I made the fantastic decision not to. When I graduated summa cum laude with my *useless* liberal arts degree (from still knowing how to study throughout my school career), I still didn’t have a clue what to do. And as my work career began; as I progressed from job to job, I just took what landed in my lap. I never once went into a company and said THIS is what I want to do. THIS is what I was meant to accomplish. I’ve even tried going back to school, several times, to see if that would help me decide. All it helped my decided was no, I am not interested in getting an MBA (what? all this is just common sense! I’m not paying for that)…. not interested in programming in C+ (although that class was a challenge and I did like some of it) and not cut out to be a teacher either. I don’t like kids enough. Well, other people’s kids at any rate. So here I am, almost 40 years after I was born, still wondering what I’m going to do next. Being a mother is awesome, but the stay at home part doesn’t last forever. So many days, as I fold laundry, I stand and wonder… what will my future hold? What will I be? And I honestly have no idea if I’ll ever be able to answer those questions, as much as I’d like to think I would. -B
Hair then and now
Today I looked in the mirror, and my 5th grade self stared back. I’ve moved recently, and haven’t had my hair cut in over 2 months. So it’s getting longer… and one of the only other times that I grew it out was in 5th grade. And for some reason, probably because I have so much of the damn stuff, my mother showed me how to only put up half my hair in a barrett. So now, when my hair gets long, that’s exactly what I do. And for a second tonight, while loading my son into the bathtub, that’s who I saw in the mirror. I have half a mind to find my 5th grade school picture, and compare it to the way I look today. But the picture is at my mom’s house, and I am here. Plus, the actual results would be way more distressing than the ones that appear in my mind. So that’s how I’ll leave it for now, as a mental photoshopped image of my almost 40 year old self superimposed upon the 11 year old girl I once was. Sigh. -B
The almost 40 year old herself.... with barretts
Yoga – Level 1??
Ooookay – so tonight I took my 50 lb overweight almost 40 year old body to a “Level 1″ yoga class. Was this a mistake? On an intellectual level, of course not! Exersize is what every body needs. Yoga is something you’ve done before, so let’s go!! Plus, you’ll get out of the house for a night. And, you’ll see your two best friends in the whole wide world. No brainer, right?? So, off I went….. and now that I’m home I’m still trying to figure out whether or not I liked it. This is after, of course, I signed up for the year long membership. After, mind you, I almost started to cry during the class because I couldn’t get my fat overwide body to balance AT ALL. But also after, at the very end of the class, enjoying the tingly sensation, like a slight electric current, that ran from my fingertips to my toes. So now I’m left to wonder… is this the start of my mid life crisis get back into shape mode? Oh, wouldn’t that be glorious! Of course I’m also wishing I could have started with Level 0 class instead. Ah well, c’est la vie! -B
First Entry
So, in all seriousness, I thought of the title of this blog post on my way to sleep the other night. What else could I write about? I have no hobbies, no talents, no job to speak of just now. What I do have is a strong suspician that although I know I look forty, and that I am almost 40, I am not really 40 at all. Not at heart. Not on the inside. Not at all. In fact, at least once a week, maybe more often, I look around me and think really?? I am responsible for all of this?? Who decided that was a good idea? Because I get confused, often, on how this all happened. So my hope is to explore this crazy world I find myself in where I am in charge, and figure out what comes next. You know, the ‘Next’ that all almost 40 year olds come to consider…. because technically your life is already half over and you’re not really sure how that happened. And half of that half you weren’t even able to think for yourself. So now is the time to decide, when is it that I can actually take charge? Or at least feel like I can…. but if you’re like me, and have an almost 5 year old that comes with your almost 40 year old self, finding the time to do that is challenging. So we’ll just have to see how this goes…. B
7 Months later
Ben is now 14 months old. Some things are the same, and some have most definitely changed. His smile still lights up the room – it changes his whole face and it makes you want to just eat him up. As for eating, well, the minute I gave him “real” food he just couldn’t get enough. So he’ll just sit and eat and eat and eat… never stopping, just slowing down. So awesome. The only foods he avoides so far? Peas, egg noodles, and spinach. Other than that, the boy will eat anything. What else? He’s not quite walking, but he most certainly is cruising and standing on his own. He’ll be walking soon, I think. Or at least, I hope so. It will be nice to have him go outside without crawling on the ground. Favorite games? Anything with buttons to push or parts to figure out. He still loves Evie, and they play together more and more – which is great! The games are starting to get rougher now, so supervision is still very much required.
I’m still at home, although now have a part time job at Kohl’s. It’s nice that its right down the street; we are all slowly adjusting to the changes my working requires. Evie has started school! Two days a week at 3 year old preschool and oh does she love it!! She is most certainly in her glory. She’s growing up so fast, I’m so glad to have been home this past year and a half to watch it happen.
B
Ben
I know no one reads these, and I know I haven’t written in over a year, but it only seems right that I should include a post about Benjamin Joseph Pifalo, my son, who is now 7 months old. I was just reading Evie’s half birthday post, and I feel so bad that I never even thought to write about Ben here… but mostly that’s because facebook has taken over the long blog with the short and sweet status update. Anyway, what to say about Ben?? He’s awesome, basically… he has a smile that lights up a whole room, and he shares it freely. He’s cute as a button, and will put ANYTHING in his mouth. He loves to be tickled, and has a wonderful giggle/laugh when he is. He think patty cake is the best game ever, and that Evie is the best person on the planet. Oh how she can make him laugh! Doesn’t matter that she’s putting her full weight onto him, he just laughs and laughs and laughs. He’ll grab anything within reach, and has been know to fling my glasses right off my face while he’s eating. He sits up so well now, and he has found new joy in taking out every toy within a bin placed nearby. Oh and does he JUMP! Jump jump jump, if he’s in the mood, with such a look of concentration on his face. Basically, he’s my best sweet boy, and I love him to pieces. Not the best eater, but that’s ok. He just takes a bit to accept change, Mike says, and I think that’s probably it.
As for me, I’ve been a stay at home mom for the past year, as Harte-Hanks decided to let me go almost exactly a year ago. And it’s been a great year, and I have to say I’m not sad they did. I never would have been able to spend this time with my two children otherwise.
So – sending this out to the wide world, although I know that I’ll probably be the only one that ever reads it.
Cheers!
B
More blogging? Night at Fenway
A friend of mine said to me recently – you should blog! I explained that I did – and she foofed off my twice a year entries in terms of updating Evie’s life. So I thought I’d give this a whirl, see if I liked putting my random streams of consiousness out on the web for all to see.
How to start, though, that is the question. Hmmm… Well, Mike and I got to attend a Red Sox game at Fenway part this past Saturday night. They lost, but I have to say, going to a game when the weather is perfect, and the view of the field is one of the best I’ve ever had, is one of the best nights one could hope for. The sky was dotted with huge white clouds that turned a very deep pink as the sun set. Then, once the clouds had blown away, the full moon rose over the park. I tried to take a picture of the moon, and the park, and the sky – but it didn’t turn out as I had hoped. Still, I have the memory.
The night was so fun that the 2 hour trek home didn’t even spoil it. Oy, the T after a game – it is not pretty. If only I felt more comfortable getting around the city on foot, I think I would have walked half way home to avoid it. But fear of getting lost always haunts me whereever I go, so onto the T we went. And it’s not actually the T ride that’s the issue, it’s the press of people attempting to get past the stiles that is the most unpleasant. Still, Mike and I had a wonderful time – our first night out alone in quite some time. Hopefully we continue the trend of getting out every once in a while, it’s nice to be able to spend time together without a little person wiggling her way into the middle of things from time to time.
B
I know, I know – it’s been a while…
As I said, it’s been a while. Since I last wrote there are 3 new babies in our lives… Gavin, Evie’s cousin; Rebecca, Kerry’s newest daughter; and Megan, Bridget’s newest daughter. Birth days, respectively are Feb. 18th, July 2nd and July 21. Wow. Evie’s going to be talking about babies for some time to come.
Which brings me to other new developments – talking being one of them. Cheese, eat, BABY, Daddy, Mommy, Tucker are her favorite things to say. She also loves to take a Baaaa(th). She’s walking, and learning to run (oh please please honey, don’t hit your head on the *instert object*…. oops! too late) I can’t believe 16 months has gone by. Where has the time gone? She’s a full fledged toddler now, with a personality to boot. No has also been a favored word, but more exciting, she’s now saying Yes also! Yes, I want milk. Yes, time to eat… the communciation is definitely getting easier. But other things, of course, are more difficult. Take eating in a restaurant, for example. This just doesn’t happen. But it’s a worthy sacrifice for a few years. I’ll take the hugs and kisses instead.
As for me, not much has changed. I’m working at Harte-Hanks still, although many of my closest friends have left or been let go. It’s sad and frusterating at the same time.
First family vacation is coming up – the three of us go to Bar Harbor / Acadia National Park in September. I can’t wait. Evie and I have done a couple of test runs in our child carrier options, and the Kelty back pack is definitely the one coming with us. Hopefully we’ll be able to get some more hiking in around NH this fall also. I swear, climbing those 8 flights of stairs twice a day is actually making a difference.
Love to all. Check out MIke’s altered prose blog – he’s written some short fiction there, and it’s good.
-Beth
Happy New Year
Happy New Year all! 2007 was, for me, one of the best ever. How many years can you say you’ve had the most beautiful baby in all the world? Not many…. 
Evie is now 9 months old and movin’ and groovin’ any way she can. She crawls at high speed, and has now also begun to pull herself up on anything nearby – her dad, the dog, the couch, the coffee table – whatever works! She also is still very much a talker -and has even said her first word – which is, of course, Tucker (due to the fact that it is yelled so often by both myself and Mike). She says it more like two words, though – sounds like Tuck-errr. Very cute.
First Christmas went extremely well – she did not get the cold that Mike and I had (thank goodness! they were awful…) and so was in good spirits the entire two days. She loved all her presents, people, commotion – and was so much fun to watch. Mike and I got a video camera for each other for Christmas, so hopefully there will be some footage to share soon. The 360 degree spin is my absolute favorite.
What else? Not much. Evie and I are off on a trip to visit a friend in NM at the end of the month, so hopefully that will go well. Leah’s due on 2/19 so we have a new addition to the family to look forward to as well. Yay! We can’t wait to meet Evie’s cousin Gavin….
Back to work for me. Love to all of you. Will put up some new pics etc soon.
-Beth
Half Birthday!
Evie is 6 months old today! Happy Half Birthday Evie! I hope to take some picture of her tonight and include them here soon…
I was just reading over some of the first blogs of right before and after she was born. Boy did Mike guess the birth story WAY wrong! But in one thing he was right; all turned out fine in the end. Also, 6 months later and I can hardly remember what life felt like those first few weeks. All I know is that every day with Evie is a joy beyond measure as she continues to grow, learn, and entertain us all…. her new talents include sitting up without assistance, getting up on all fours from her tummy, and eating eating eating. She does love that cereal! For some reason though, rolling only comes easist from back to front – she is still working on going from belly to back consistantly. And she loves anything to do with standing, jumping or yelling. Oh my does she love using those newly found vocal cords.
Basically, she is the best baby ever. Well, except when she eats with her fingers in her mouth. Messy!
As for Mike and I – work is fine; same old same old. We are in the process of doing some work on the house, though – we’ll put up pictures for that soon also. New siding, replacement windows, fence and deck will all be going up in the next few weeks. I can’t wait!
But really, I just wanted to pause today, on Evie’s half birthday, and marvel at how quickly and wonderfully the past six months have gone. I love my new life; I have never been happier, and I know that it is only going to get better! Love to all …. Beth